I can’t help but ache a tad. Looking at Mufasa’s pictures reminds me of when Kovu was also that small. Mufasa was smaller I believe. Then I thought I cannot imagine what is going to happen when Kovu dies. Ouch.

But then I looked back at the pictures and I remember that Mufasa died. I lived through that. My turtle died right before that. I lived through that. I know life goes on, but the hole in my heart stings for the babies that didn’t make it by circumstances unknown to them. Kovu is different?

I will be there. I will see it happen. Ouch. I wish I had been there for him. For Mufasa. I was robbed of that. It’s all okay now but I don’t believe I ever let myself actually have any other thought than ‘I miss him’.

My thought this time was, I hope he wasn’t alone when he died. I hope someone was there with him, I hope they held him and didn’t treat him like a stranger. I hate that it was a stranger.

And it made me ball like a little baby.

Ouch.