Author: imjustkristina

God gots me. God gots my man. God gots kovu. God gots the van.

I have clothes on my back and food in my stomach. I have everything I need. I don’t need anything else.

People. They do that a lot.

Running like a marathon
At this speed I have to move on,
right?
Faster than you see
Chased and now I can’t breathe
Took a pause because I got lost
Now I’m running back
Because it’s hard to keep on track

There I go down the same familiar road.
I want to scream but it’s not about what it seems.
There’s no hope in my eyes because my brain tells me lies.

She’s talking and explaining but the words, it seems she is unsure
Backtracking and confusing me, she doesn’t even know what she’s writing
Angry because I have this skill and looking at her work, just makes me fucking ill
Trying to explain what I already understand
Understanding that this is supposed to be order but she keeps forgetting a step.
Within the hour of her talking, I count how many times she says, “wait, I didn’t mention..”
Losing me more and more each passing second, I wonder if it’d be better not to be here at all
Lines going all across, my brain and thoughts, she has them completely lost

The question was answered
And then there was no words said
Maybe so that you’d know when
To go
Is that why you ask
Because you hate goodbyes
Far away now
But still in grasp
Distance
Is it even real between us

Once again you’re too far
One question answered
Time was important
You had to know
But I didn’t
I believed otherwise
It was wonderful in my thoughts
Until the time of truth came
Nowhere to be found
Was the image of yesterday

Jump in front of a car Or run you over with one. Bullet to my brain Or one to your face. Either way, I just want to
see you in pain. A monsters taking over. She’s telling
me where to aim
Pull the trigger
And we both
lose the game

You asked me if I’ve eaten
You asked me what I smoke
I told you from the beginning
That this wasn’t a joke
You don’t understand it
And there’s no way for me to express
How badly anxiety and depression
Make your life a mess
Not something you can fully comprehend
But you can go ahead and pretend

Who knew this would end this way
That you’d make me part of some twisted game
Cause you like to watch this storm
I’m sorry, but no more
You wanted to win
Now your prize is to sit

Alone

With your pride by your side
Silence will bring you pain
And you’ll remember the day
You forced me to turn away