Author: imjustkristina

I had to stop thinking about you
All the crying and clenching
Making my jaw hurt

I whispered and you cried
So I told you a couple of good lies
To make you imagine that this was our time
We stood still as we had a lot of time to kill
You looked in my eyes with bright white lights
For this one last time but you didn’t know
That this was the end of our show
Because I made you believe
You were important to me
Now you’ll wonder for the rest of your years
What was it that brought you here
And you’ll have no other answer
Except your own cancer
So to blame this on me is where you are wrong
Cause I told you from the start
You’ve been nothing to me all along
Now you’re breaking down in front of me
And you can hardly take a second to breathe
I would love to help and see you at ease
But I’m not the person you wanted me to be
You’re pleading me to stay
But I always told you it was not that way
You knew it in your heart that I was gonna tear you apart
You were blinded by my eyes and the small lovely lies
Stayed anyways, after I told you this was a game you shouldn’t play
Cause times change but I’ll still be the same
And you will always be the one to blame
For putting your soul in this awful self loathing cage

Saying goodbye now to everybody

I’ll be back later, I’m sorry

Getting into this car, now I’m gone

Not realizing what I’ve really done

Not going to where I thought

This new place is a little further, I forgot

Really wanting to turn around 

I hate being in this place with no sound

I hate seeing your face cause you’re different now

Your voice is a stranger

You’re talking about bangers

And my mind is saying to turn away from this danger

Walking so much
I just want to lay down
Looking straight up
At night there’s no sound
The moon sits still
As I look around
The stars used to fill
My empty mind
These streets used to kill
All lost time
The homes used to feel
Like they were once mine
Now it’s all nonexistent
I feel my life
I’ve completely missed it

This feeling so strange
I don’t know how to take it
Kind of hate things this way
Taking different turns
Our lives no longer merge
I feel almost alone but I know I’m not
Lost your arms, my home
My favorite spot
No proper goodbye
Will ever exist
You’ll stay in mind
Literally all the time
And I’ll have so many things left unsaid
But it’s better that way
I’ll keep it all in my head
I just hope and pray
That you no longer wish you were dead
And I really believe maybe one day
We’ll finally both really be okay
So I’ll try to keep my quiet
And peace alone in this bed
As I whisper I love you,
Goodbye my bestfriend

Small is a understatement
Of how you made me feel
Dead, sometimes I swear
I wish you weren’t real
In my fucking head
Word after word
Everything you’ve said
Lost everything it seemed
My home, my family,
The world was now a new scene
Wandered where I swear I wouldn’t go
But I couldn’t help
Giving up my entire soul
Day after day
Letting the black grow
Everything was lost
My mind, my heart,
Such an expensive cost
Dying is what I wanted
That’s why I kept so fast
Saving, never happened
This here was meant to last

Travel far away
Off to better days
You think you’d have a little more to say
Time moving slow
Eyes begin to close
Hoping you make it to where you want to go
Moving straight up
Getting higher on the road
You’d like to make this place your new home
Running back around
Finally on solid ground
To find yourself lost with no way out
Quick to turn
No way you’ll earn
Anyway off every road you’ve burned
Staring off straight
Different place, same taste
Just remember to not show the hate on your face

Long roads

Almost never end

Which way to go

No one knows

We lost control

Time

Passes by

Alone in this hole

Sitting still

No more digging

I have no will

So far away from home
It feels strange
To not know where to go
Lost my way somehow
Digging this big hole
Now I can’t get out
I was looking for some hope
Then sadly ended up alone
Help me find my way
I need a hand to hold
Pull me out of this grave
I’m dying to be saved
By anyone or anything
I need to find a way
To get back to my mind
Take back all lost time
Trace back my steps
Change what came next
Hold my last breath
Till I find this exit

You’re in my head again today
I don’t know if that’s the right way to say
Cause you’ve actually never left my brain
I miss you so much
More than words can explain
I miss the way you smiled,
How it made all my dark go away
It’s been a while now
Since I’ve even seen your face
I think maybe it’s time
To get out of this place
But I hate the thought of leaving this way
No trace
No goodbye
Just a lot of questions,
I know you’d ask why
So for you, I’m here
For you, I will stay
Waiting and hoping that
You can tell me you’re okay